Naruto Parodies: A mix of stories
by Misha of the Sand
Summary: This is a Parody of the anime Naruto. It involves the Akatsuki, Yondaime, The Rookie Nine, Main Jounin, and even Konohamaru's gang. please review and their all short stories.
1. Chapter 1

Ninja High

Disclaimer: all Naruto characters are owned by Kishimoto while i won Misha, and my friend Tacie owns Akito.

This was the first day of school at Konoha Ninja High school or as it was known to the Students, Ninja High. Now like every normal high school there were 4 grades; Freshman, Sophomore, Junior, and Seniors. There were select groups within these grades though. The Seniors had the Akatsuki, Sannin, and then their President whose real name was unknown and was known as Yondaime. Juniors were all basically the same group and much like teachers to the Sophomores. The Sophomores were so diverse they didn't have a group. The Freshmen, well they didn't have but a few people. The amount of people willing to become Ninjas was beginning to become a very low number. The main group was Konohamaru and his friends.

Konohamaru sighed as he made it up to the school with his friend. Udon sighed as he pushed his glasses up and looked to Konohamaru. " Hey Konohamaru, did Moegi says he would meet us as Ninja High? " he asked this as he was worried about their friend. Konohamaru nodded. " Yeah she said she would be here in a few minutes."

" Konohaaaaaamaruuuu! " Moegi yelled as she ran up to her friends. She smiled and moved between them. After hugging both she said, " Hey guys. I think this year is going to be great! But I heard that we had better avoid a group of seniors called the Akatsuki. "

Itatchi sighed and glared at Hidan's door. He bleated the horn again in the black van that they all rode in. This van was full black with red clouds patterned all over it while the license plate said 'AKATSUKI' across it.

"Itatchi! Make Hidan hurry up!!" Sasori whined while he kicked Kisame's seat in front of him. He ignored the glare he got from the captain of the swimming team nicknamed 'The Shark'.

Deidara didn't make any notice of their wait as he was sketching in the back funny little comics of all his comrades. When he would finish one immediately he would show Tobi and they both would mumble together. "Tobi what do you think un"

"Tobi like Sempai's comic of friends. " Tobi said a half smile on his face as he saw how they made innocent fun of their comrades.

Akito smiled as she hugged on Dei's arm. She noticed the comics and nodded. " Good Dei-Kun "

"Fuck, Fuck, Fuck! Sorry I was praying to Jasshin-Sama guys so I am here now "Hidan said running out of his house jumping into the van and sitting in the back. He ignored Itatchi's rare words of annoyance and ran a hand over his hair.

Orochimaru was tapping his fingers annoyedly with tsunade beside him. He was beeping his horn yet again. They were in his jet-black slick car with imported fake snake skin upholstery. On his license plate it read 'MANDA' and his hood ornament was a rearing snake.

"Orochimaru-Sama what is taking him so long!?!" Kabuto said from the back seat.

Orochimaru groaned in his head forgetting that the lackey of his was in the back. "Kabuto…he is always like this. Be careful or I will make YOU go up there to get him"

"Sorry Orochimaru-Sama." Kabuto said lowly as he sat back.

"Oh come ON Jiraiya!!!!" Tsunade said out the window yelling at his bedroom. She threw a brick at the wall and about 10 minutes later Jiraiya, yawning, came out of his house and slid in the back.

"About time" the three that were there before him said in unison as they made there way finally to the high school.

Yondaime looked over at his younger brother, Naruto, and asked again. " Are you sure you don't want me to drive you Naru-chan?" he said smiling at his brother warmly. Yondaime was the most popular senior besides maybe Itatchi, but unlike Itatchi he was kind and loved. He was nice to every grade, and every person.

" No, and DON'T! Call me 'Naru-chan' its Naruto!" Naruto said to his Nii-san. He was sitting on the porch as his brother got into his car and drove off with his license plate showing 'YONDAIME'. Soon Naruto was tapping his fingers waiting for Sasuke who he had begged into giving him a ride. He was worried some as Sasuke might just blow him off and he might have to walk like a Freshman and he really didn't need that.

Sasuke came up in his black car with the plate saying 'DRMA FRK'. He was the president of Drama club and beeped his horn. Soon Naruto came running and after they were in the car the boys began to chat. Sasuke didn't hate Naruto he guessed, but he didn't want to befriend him. "Uzumaki…don't think I will be late every morning. I had problems with my brother and his 'akatsuki-mobile'." Sasuke said as they made their way to the school.

Zabuza was in his black mustang convertible as he came up to Haku's house. He beeped 3 times and soon Haku was out. With a light kiss on Zabuza's cheek the couple were soon talking and laughing together towards the high school flashing his license plate 'DEMON'.

Kakashi lay knocked out dead asleep. He had been up all night updating his porn sites, rereading key stories, and then going over the pictures Jiraiya had sent him. Soon he woke to the knocking of Iruka on his door. Grumbling he got up, pulled on some jeans and a shirt. Grabbing his bag lazily he went to the door and felt himself get hugged.

"Thought you would never wake up" Iruka said smiling. He felt Kakashi hug him with one arm and kiss his cheek. Soon Iruka was driving them to the school with his license plate reading 'DOLPHIN'. He was sure if he never came and picked up Kakashi, Kakashi would NEVER get out of his bed let alone his room.

Anko groaned after a morning of weight lifting in the basement she had changed into an in-home gym. She pulled her jacket on and jogging a moment got into her car. She felt the breeze through her hair as she drove down to the school. Her license read 'KCK YR ASS'.

Choji was munching on some cookies as he got into his car. He ignored his dad's nags to be a good kid this year. He was making his way down the road passing the Akatsuki and made sure to give them the right of way. He noticed their license where his own said 'AKIMNCHI'.

Baki was walking out to his car not caring. He saw a few of the freshmen walking in front of his house. Smirking he knew he would torment them on their first day. He wasn't sure though if he would be able to do it though without Yondaime finding out. Now he was happier following under Itatchi who was just as popular, but not even that nice.

Temari let her horn go for a moment and grumbled. Shika was probably working on another impossible puzzle as she began to count down the minutes till he knew she would leave him. He finally came out a few minutes later and she sat up a little straighter as he finally got in.

"Sorry Temari-Chan I was working on a puzzle again. But I think I finally figured out a good bit of it " Shika said yawning some and sliding into her car.

" Its ok Nara-kun, I figured you would come out sooner or later "s he said smiling. She pulled out and narrowly avoided Baki racing down the road. Sighing his license plate said 'BAKI RLZ'. She rolled her eyes her own saying 'FLYNG GRL'

Shizune stretched as she came out of her house. Her stuffed pig backpack on her back. She put him in the passenger seat as she smiled at him. "TonTon, you're the best ever, " She said smiling. Pulling out you could plainly see her license plate saying 'LDY TSNDE'.

Shino pulled his sunglasses on. He nodded to his dad who gave him some money and put it into the pocket of his trench coat. He moved onto his motorcycle and his license said 'BUGMAN'. He revved the bike mysteriously took off down the road.

Gai was in his bright green car with khaki upholstery. He beeped his horn and yelled to Lee's house. " Come! Oh Youthful Lee!" he smiled as his younger twin it seemed came bounding out and made his way in.

"Gai! Thank you for picking me up!" Lee said smiling bigly. He and Gai were both chanting the newest Aerobics Song from the 80's as they drove down the road.

Kurenai glared as she marched to the front door of Asuma's house where he was smoking and leaning in the door. She pulled the cigarette out of his mouth and stamped on it. " Sarutobi-kun come ON! " she said glaring up at him.

Asuma actually was a bit worried as he walked her back to her car his hands on her shoulders. " Come on Yuhi-Chan, You know it will be all right. Just calm yourself and lets get to school " he said smiling and she grumbled agreeing. He noticed her plate said 'NICE GRL' and he shuddered. She could be nice. But if it was him… she had this thing with being very strict and cross.

Neji came up to Tenten's house and knocked. She came to the door and he pulled her into a kiss and led her out to the car. " Come on Tenten-Chan. "

" Yes Hyuuga-Kun. I know " she said giggling and walking with him. Tenten smiled being in the cooking club but for a darker reason.

Sai was walking out ignoring everyone. He was on his motorcycle and when he passed the freshmen didn't make any notice. Looking on he began to think how he would be the president of his class again and would tell them exactly what he wanted.

Gaara was driving his car to Misha's house when he remembered Kankuro was upset stuck in the back. Misha was of course riding shotgun when they picked her up but Kankuro didn't mind. He noticed the fully black car covered with 'LOVE' kanji all around it and the teddy bear hood ornament.

" Sorry Gaara-Kun!" she said when she was a minute later than usual coming out of her house. She slid into the front seat and waved to Kankuro.

"Hey Misha-Chan " Kankuro nodded to her as they made their way to the school Gaara's license saying 'SANDMAN'.

Kiba rushed to Hinata's house and noticed her standing on the front step. Her hair was up in a high ponytail and she had a stern look on her face. She was his Dominatrix and he was supposed to be there at 7:00 sharp and lucky he was.

She made her way down to the car. " Inuzuka-Kun. You were on time today. That's very good." She smirked.

" Thank you Hyuuga-Chan " He said smiling at her as she got into his car. His license said 'HYGA DOG'.

Ino with her new Pixie cut, beeped her horn as Sakura made her way out in the cheerleader uniform. Jumping into Ino's car the two shared a deep kiss.

As the freshmen all were filed into the auditorium they didn't notice the prank that was literally above them. Their principal, Sarutobi-Sensei, began to tell them the rules and regulations of high school.

Suddenly there were squeals and screams as rotten eggs were squished all over the freshmen. There was a banner across the stage that said 'Welcome All Freshman!'

Sarutobi-Sensei chuckled lightly as the freshmen were filing out to clean off.

Naruto was snickering as he walked in seeing Konohamaru. He helped the little guy clean off and soon he had told him much of the special groups through the school and who to avoid. "Yondaime is ok just don't go near Itatchi. "

" I will make sure to do that Uzumaki-Sempai." Konohamaru said as he met his friends outside. They found out this had been Naruto's prank as they were all in their classes soon enough.

"Uzumaki! "

Naruto froze as he heard Sarutobi-Sensei's voice.

" I want you to be nicer to the freshmen, alright?"

"Yes Sarutobi-Sensei " Naruto said sullenly as he walked back to class.

7 Hours Later

The freshmen had all made their ways home by now and it was only the upperclassmen in their clubs and groups.

Kisame was in the school's pool doing his back stroke while Itatchi was on the side just watching. Kisame noticed Iruka come in and Bow

"Good Afternoon Captain Hoshigaki " Iruka returned to standing and a few rows over began to do laps along with Kisame.

Dei, Akito, Tobi, Sasori, Misha, Gaara, and Kankuro were all out on the front lawn; they had separated into two main groups and were playing hacky-sack.

Neji was staring into the sky seeing if he, the school psychic, could see any farther into destiny.

Tenten and Choji were in cooking club. Choji was the president while Tenten was the knives master. She was always seen stroking and petting them. Choji worried about her but didn't care as long as he got to eat.

Kazuku, Zetsu, and Shino were in Science club. Kazuku was there for the dissection. While Zetsu was there for the plants. Shino of course was there for the insect studies.

Detention was filled with Shikamaru, Naruto, and Asuma. Asuma had been caught smoking, Shika caught skipping class, And Naruto for the freshmen induction rights. They groaned when Temari came in and sat behind the desk.

Temari smiled over at Shikamaru and shook her head. " You guys can leave in an hour " she set the alarm on her desk and started to read a magazine.

Anko was working out in the gym with Ino, Kiba, and Sakura. They were the athletes of the school. Anko was the sexy chick on the wrestling team, Ino was a quarterback on the football team, Sakura was the cheerleading captain, and Kiba was there under Hinata's orders.

Hidan called order to his club, which was the religion club. He was happy that he was now the president and nothing ever happened that he didn't know.

Jiraiya and Kakashi were in the AV club. They at this point were editing one of the videos Jiraiya had shot in the girls locker room of Anko, Sakura, and Ino.

Lee and Gai were both sweating together. They were working very hard at leading the aerobics' club.

Orochimaru was in the biology lab. He was petting and caring for the snakes. He knew Kabuto was watching him and really didn't care as long as the lackey didn't talk.

Tsunade and Shizune were outside playing cards and luckily they weren't playing for anything or Tsunade would have lost horribly.

Baki had followed the freshmen home and had been bullying them until Yondaime had decided to defend the freshmen and Baki had backed off. Yondaime then walked each of them home then went back for the meeting.

Haku and Zabuza had just gone home. They now were making out on Haku's bed since no one besides Haku was home.

Sai, Kurenai, and Yondaime were the class presidents. The freshmen didn't have one but as of now the group was arguing about what to do.

" We need to have a harder grip on Smoking" Kurenai said and Yondaime nodded.

"I think we need to work on getting more books for the Library" Sai said his eyes seeming blank and emotionless.

Yondaime looked between them. " I understand that both in fact will help better our school. I will talk to Sarutobi-Sensei about these ideas. Thank you Yuhi-Chan and Sai-kun," He said standing and shaking their hands. He left with the meetings notes in hand.

Hinata crept around the corners in the school. She noticed Naruto in Detention and sighed watching him. She shook her head and went back around the school to stare and stalk the boys of the school.

Sasuke walked in his eyeliner re-applied. He showed the new groups in Drama Club his script. " We'll all will be working on this new script, there will be lots of crying, depression, and suicides " he loved this kind of script.


	2. Chapter 2

Snow White parody

Snow White parody

"_God Karin, cant you understand men are SCARED of you!?" Misha yelled at her cousin as the nine year old stormed from the newest rulers bedroom. She passed by a certain red headed prince in the hall and went to watch football with the guards. Misha felt at ease, as she didn't know the young ruler was planning her 'demise' as she watched the next touchdown._

Misha was grumbling as she scrubbed the fountain in the ruler, Karin's, courtyard. She began to hum some random song 'Kanashimi wo Yashashisa ni'. Her hand itched at the silver ankle bracelet than locked her to the castle she was now cleaning. She looked around and saw she was done for the day. Misha cracked her back and a disgusting sound emerged. She smiled, as she felt better walked in the dank clothes towards her room. As she saw something red over the castle wall, a prince on a tan horse walked around. Her green eyes met his sea green eyes and she shook it off. "Wha'dya want?" She said her arms crossed and she watched him just shake his head some.

" Oh Miss. Nothing I suppose…just getting lose in those emeralds you call eyes. " He said trying to be smooth and was surprised she just walked past him and into the house. Gaara vowed that he would find her…somehow….or he would kill her for her insolence.

Karin just watched three guards ignore her orders. She glared and stormed into her room, slamming the door, and knocking her mirror off the back of the door. " oh sorry Suigetsu…" She said and returned him to his nail on the back of her door and got an idea. "Oh! I have a question for you" Karin cleared her throat and smiled at the silver haired friend in her mirror. "Dearest comrade off the floor, Am I the sexiest near the door?" She smiled ever so sweetly, or at least she tried.

"Pfft, no I am. But anyway what was your question?" Suigetsu said smirking at the girl before him.

Karin fumed at him and tried to be nice again her jaw clenched. " alright…whose the prettiest in the castle?" She said her eyes staring directly into his.

Suigetsu thought a moment smiled at her evil look. "Oh easy. Your cousin Misha" He morphed into the back of the mirror and in his presence hung a sign "resting, ask questions later"

Karin just stared into the sign and began to scream and stomp around her bedroom. She lay on her bed fuming until Neji answered her call. " Neji! I want you to kill Misha". She said sending him away without questions.

Neji hated his job being the huntsman for Karin. He decided that he would spite the girl by grabbing his key and walking into Misha's room. Ignoring her cries he unlocked the silver band that bound her to the castle and smiled.

"…you can smile ?" Misha said standing and packing her stuff. She listened to him tell her what Karin was pissed about and smiled. " oh, I'm pretty. Interesting" She said as she grabbed her stuff and looked at him. " See ya I guess…." She said and jumped out her window. She grabbed some spray paint out of her bag and as she stood before a clear wall in the open. She sprayed three huge sayings across the wall. "Karin is a whore wannabe", Karin turns straight guys gay", and finally "Karin eats your baby and laughs at you afterwards". She smiled at her handiwork and made her way into the forest.

Neji now held a box that held a doe's heart in it instead of Misha's. He handed it to Karin and got out before he heard Karin's evil laugh. He felt like finally he had rebelled without getting hurt in the long run.

Misha was walking through the forest as she suddenly came to a cottage in the field before her. She raised an eyebrow and when she saw nothing that looked too dangerous. She walked past all the ninja traps and avoided them with ease. She looked in the windows of the cottage and nearly gagged. There was rotting food, dirty dishes, and just mountains of dirty laundry. She knew she was at a guys dorm house.

"umm…who are you ?" said a strange blond guy which caused Misha to jump.

She looked to see 7 guys staring at her and she kinda looked to the side. " ummm Misha.." she said to them. One with a spiky ponytail looked at her.

"look...we need to get in our house.." he pushed past her and she noticed they all filed in to the home. They all hung up their kunais on hooks that had a name above them. The names were "Naruto, Sasuke (this one had little hearts drawn around it), Shikamaru, Shino, Choji, Kiba, and Lee. She learned the names of the boys and followed in.

" you guys really need to clean up your shit…"She said looking at them and getting a glare. Shikamaru stepped up and looked her in the eye. "fine…you look like you need a place to stay…you can stay here and you have to play a game of shoji with me. If you win, we'll clean up the house...if you lose, you have to clean and cook. Deal?" he said his hand out. The others snickered as they saw her nod and accept.

She lost after a long time. Shikamaru had actually begun to worry, but in the end Misha did lose. When they had gone to work at the gay bar she cleaned the house. She had found the big screen T.V. and officially had started watching football while they were gone. Shino was counting the money as they all fell in love. She was in her favorite teams jersey, face paint, and her hair was tinted. They had finally found a girl who liked football.

Karin looked at Suigetsu and pouted. "Suigetsu…show me my Sasuke..i know he's gay but still.." She watched as his watery form swished away to show Sasuke with his arm around Misha. They along with Shikamaru and Naruto were all wearing the same team colors. The others wore the other teams color. All had face paint plus tinted hair. They were eating snacks and cheering as the football game went on and on. "….she's alive…..NEEEEJJJJIII !!".

Neji came running sure of what had happened and looked at her. " yes M'lady ?" he said to her and smiled some.

"Misha ! she's alive!" She fumed and was glaring.

Neji took a look at Misha in the mirror and shook his head. " Ah, but I think Orochimaru brought her back as a puppet...I mean you know how mad he was when you turned Sasuke gay..." He said carefully and watched Karin nod accepting the excuse.

"Sorry Neji, you can go.." Karin said carefully and lay on her bed crying.

Karin was thinking something that was very dastardly. She knew she had to kill Misha and knowing where Sasuke lived only came with being obsessed with him. She pulled out a case of beer and began to do ninjutsu over it. She smirked. Now the next person to drink any of the beers would have the full ninjutsu kill them. They would be in suspended animation. Only ever to be awakened by true loves first kiss.

Misha was home alone as she always was. She had all the snacks out and the DVR set to record this game. This was supposed to be the best game ever for their team and they wanted to be able to always re-watch it.

DING DONG

She groaned as she went to see the door and saw just a regular girl. She was unable to sense the jutsu. Karin made it seem that she was a girl who worked with the boys. "Hey, Choji told me to give this 6 pack to you, your allowed one this time he said " She said handing the eager Misha her beer.

Misha cracked open a perfect beer and chugged it in under a minute. She was the house champion for chugging and she was proud of her title. Almost instantly she felt horrible and the world went black. Misha was dead.

The boys all returned to the home. They were expecting the usual hyper greeting from Misha but she didn't meet them at the door. Shikamaru walked in and was heartbroken. Before him lay the helpless dead body of the only girl he had started to feel something for. Misha.

As the others filed in and found her Shika held her limp body and they worked hard to make something nice. They finally got together something that was nice enough. It had roses around it and was very soft as they lay her body there. They were all very sad, but Sasuke had noticed that the reason for her death meant it could only be reduced by true loves first kiss. So the boys waited…none of them had ever heard a thing about a boy she liked, but they hoped he would come.

Gaara was walking through the forest as he suddenly saw in the frat boy's house the pretty girl from before. On her hug a sign that said 'one kiss, no creeps' He walked over and soon found out she would only relive once she felt true loves kiss. Gaara finally bent down and pressed his lips to her and was surprised to taste bear and see her green eyes flitter to life. He stood back as Misha blushed but smirked at him.

" wow…a football wedding…" Shika asked as he looked at the themed wedding. He had liked Misha but was too lazy to fight for her. He just smiled gently as he saw her lips press to Gaara's and thought he heard the anguished screams of the woman that turned Sasuke gay.


End file.
